Dvorak Says gPhone is Doomed

drewmoney writes "Speaking with his usual frustrated crankiness John Dvorak rants his way through an article explaining why the gPhone will never work. 'First of all, it wants to put Google search on a phone. It wants to do this because it is obvious to the folks at Google that people need to do Web searches from their phone, so they can, uh, get directions to the restaurant? Of course, they can simply use the phone itself to call the restaurant and ask! I've actually used various phones with Web capability. They never work right. They take forever to navigate. It's hard to read the screens ... I also hope that people note the fact that the public has not been flocking to smartphones of any sort.' "

iPhone?

[Asic Eng]

I'm not a fan of Apple and won't get an iPhone for myself, but people are buying those, right? So "public has not been flocking to smartphones" - yeah if you live under a rock somewhere that may be true...

On the subject of tags

[Anonymous Coward]

I see that one of the tags for this story is "noob". And it occurs to me; we need a disparaging name for someone who is just no longer in the loop. noob doesn't do it because that implies that the person is just new to the game but may get there with time. Dvorak often seems like someone who was there but isn't with it anymore.

So Wrong

[whisper_jeff]

I also hope that people note the fact that the public has not been flocking to smartphones of any sort...

I don't know, but I think there's over a million iPhone owners who might disagree with you, Mr. Dvorak. That said, I suspect there's more than just iPhone owners who would also disagree with him but that's par for the course.

Re:gPhone != Itanium

[magarity]

To be fair, Itanium arrived years late with lackluster performance due in large part to resistance to a new architecture and all the software incompatibility that entails. Itanium running native software runs circles around the fastest x86... Servers like HP's Superdome series that use Itanium 2 are amazing bang for the buck if your favorite vendor has an IA64 version of the software you need.
 
So, is the googlephone going to be held back by demands of compatibility with existing phone software? Probably not at the internals-of-the-phone level. Choice of providers will be the primary driver of a given user's experience.

Re:Its all in the name...

[astaldaran]

The biggest problem with the cell phone industry today is that while you may physically own the phone your contract prevents you from actually utilizing the capabilities on the phone (Well you can always go against your contract and start hacking..it can get messy). This can be seen in nearly every phone. For example pick up a sprint razor..why can't you transfer files over bluetooth and use a bluetooth headset to listen to music...because sprint chooses not to support it that is why (and that is just the tip of the iceberg on how carriers limit phones capabilities). What will truly be the next revolution in phones is when phones become open mediums for open source. This will allow anyone to make content for it and make it easy for people to install.. No longer will people have to use a carrier services for music or video, etc. No instead people will be doing all sorts of neat things that we could talk about for hours. Carriers won't like this...they will lose money, so I'm not sure how Google is going to sell it but it seems whenever Google has their mind set on something..it works (well...except for Google answers but that might be partially because of sites like wikipedia).

Re:Really?

[mcbain942]

I have used pocket pc's and smartphones for 2-3 years now. I recently bought the tilt windows mobile 6. I do agree its hard to navigate I do agree its hard to see. But in the end, its more usefull then useless. You can navigate, and you can see. The only thing that would help, is either larger monitors built in the car, or even better, VR glasses i can put on to see a screen better, or those futurstic pull out screens i saw on the movie planet mars! But as for the gphone. i belive it or not do agree it will temporarily at least fail. I am suing skype mobile on my phone using the 3g network and my voice is delayed about 5 seconds, which is just about unbearable. Michael Evanchik

Re:Doomed for another reason...

[SQLGuru]

Are you one of the same people who laud Blizzard for how they finally made an MMO right in WOW. It wasn't anything NEW....just making something OLD better.....I believe that is what Google hopes to do....

Layne

Re:He can't even put the keys on a keyboard right

[Jasafar]

Exactly. And how hold is Dvorak now? Like 100? Damn, go retire already. ALSO, Does this name ring a bell... ANDY RUBIN ? A man with a reputation for creating technologies way ahead of his time. Some products died because folks were not ready for it, but others were successful like the the Danger Hiptop, AKA Tmobile Sidekick. The Sidekick was the first huge launch of a mobile device that that a backend that reformatted, compressed web pages before delivery to the device and does a damn good job of it. I'm sure there are many tricks up this man's sleeve and with a powerhouse like Google backing him... There could be no stopping him. People are crying for open source and if you give them a platform as cool as the iPhone to do it on, you will have a revolutionary communications device called the Gphone.

Re:Doomed for another reason...

[msimm]

How can you judge the product before it's launched? The same could have been said regarding the iPhone, but you'd have been wrong. Google got the 'aura' by creating a unique culture and hiring some very smart people, that doesn't mean that everything they do will be innovative but certainly gives enough reason to take interest.

And if there is a marketplace that has desperately needed real innovation, this is it. Apple made smart phones sexy and usable, I'd like to see what happens next.

Re:Really?

[AmaDaden]

Nah, Google is the new Apple. This is just one part of his classic formula. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAWDYaWAVQQ [youtube.com]. For all the Dvorak haters listen to an ep of Twit http://www.twit.tv/ [www.twit.tv] with him. He's not stupid, he is just on an endless quest for numbers. You'll start to like him if you do what I do. Just think of him like the old uncle at the family reunions that just hates everything. "Bah! The Google phone will never work! You damn kids with your Web 2.0!" "Oh uncle Dvorak..."

Re:Really?

[Matt Perry]

He is like the Jerry Springer of the computer world.

Indeed. He's already admitted on camera that he purposely baits people to get more web hits [youtube.com].

Re:Can someone please...

[wikinerd]

CARRIERS in North America SUCK

Good observation... What can you use a great smartphone or PDA for if your carrier sucks? Sometimes I think that device manufacturers should sue carriers for destroying a market with huge potential. Carriers suck even here in EU, so no this is not just a US phenomenon. I think the reason carriers suck is because they don't face competition from free communities run by citizens. People use their WiFi to set up community networks, but this cannot be done with GPRS or 3G because the governments (FCC et al) have decided that only a handful of guys should have the right to transmit in the cellular telephony radio spectrum. Perhaps it's time for a law to be passed to guarantee at least one gratis cellular telephony licence for free networking communities (like the ones we have for WiFi, modelled after the old BBSes and the current free software communities).

Re:Really?

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't understand what was so ridiculous about his article? Seems dead on to me - I also don't understand how every time there is a Dvorak article, it makes it to Slashdot, then gets about a hundred "this guy is looney" comments.

- There is no released product
- A bunch of companies just jumped on the press release bandwagon
- Google is awesome from a Wall Street standpoint and engineers are dying to work there, but they don't have products that are "cool to use" - like you see people thinking they are hot shit for just carrying a mac book.

Re:iPhone?

[BewireNomali]

good number of differences between gmail and pre-gmail hotmail. most obvious is storage capacity. the concept of not ever deleting another email again didn't really exist until gmail - in fact no one considered that a feature that would even be desired. but humans are pack rats - we don't throw shit away - we don't really want to get rid of anything. apple understands this too - and realized that the secret sell for ipods INITIALLY was size. go bigger. carry all your music. SMART. human beings have a fascination with size and interpret size as added value. google so smartly realized this thatthey advertise how much new space you're getting right on the log-in page. for a team of really smart folk - with a aversion to unnecessary elements on a web page - there is critical thought that went into that inclusion. once both apple and gmail have this mindshare, copycat firms have to fight the emotional concept of "not innovating". It hearkens back to being a child and there was that one kid that copied every thing you did and you hated him for it - as it encroached on your individuality and there was nothing you could do about it. A quick glance at any forum reveals lines like: "microsoft copying apple/google again. why can't they just be original/themselves?"

hotmail was like at 2 mb or 10 mb at the time. it meant your email had to be managed by YOU - time and effort towards organization you probably (not you literally - but you figuratively/generally) do not exhibit in your normal life.

gmail meant no organizing. want to find something? just leave it lying around and search for it - we'll bring it right to you. SCORE!

genius is in the details right? user interface is important - but people will look past interface if you give them WHAT THEY WANT. I know a lot of folks that don't like gmail's interface but like the fact the gmail doesn't force them to delete anything. makes them feel like they can go searching back through their life - and that in this google must somehow "get" them, or "understand" their needs. of course, in this regard, as the size of your inbox increases, inertia sets in. how likely is the average gmail user to pack up 4 gigs of shit and bounce? GENIUS.

in short there were huge differences.

re the iphone? the user interface is snazzy, but is IMO less functional than a winmo device with a keyboard. also, and my evidence is purely anecdotal (i.e. worthless), I don't know an iphone user who migrated from a non-smartphone/pda device. ever iphone user i know migrated from blackberry/nokia smartphone/winmo/sidekick. i personally use my iphone as a vanity phone for meetings/conferences/dinners/etc. and a winmo 6 device for the daily work/heavy lifting. the iphone is my porsche - not a daily commuter car. my winmo is my ford focus/whatever. not flashy - but day in/out more functional than the porsche.

DAPs existed before IPOD. smartphones existed before IPHONE. ipod "got" something that IPHONE doesn't "get." It's not user interface - it's something else.

All they have to do is make it suck less

[dbc001]

I went shopping for a phone the other day. Sprint has been gouging me for years for not having a contract, and now my phone's battery is dieing. I have a short list of features that I need, but all the phones are marked "supports sprintTV" and crap like that. Phones come with a dozen of the most obnoxious ringtones possible because they want to sell you a better one. A cellphone is not a product - it's a vehicle for selling more products!

Anyway all google has to do is make their phone suck less than the competition - not a particularly difficult challenge these days!

Re:Dvorak

[moogs]

Wait, so he's NOT the guy with the keyboard? Bloody hell, I thought he was like Linus Torvalds - they create something useful in the past, so we're stuck listening to their ramblings and idiotic comments until they die. So why exactly are we still paying attention to this clown if he didn't do anything useful?

Google Maps on iPhone / Google SMS

[StCredZero]

I've been using Google Maps on an iPhone in the exact way that Dvorak says people don't use phones! You can put in "Pizza Hut near 666 River Styx Drive, 77666" and it'll give you the several nearest options. Press on the ">" and you get more info, including the phone number and an option to dial.

Even before the iPhone, I used Google SMS in pretty much the exact same way. (iPhone is better with the map, however!)

Absolutely, positively agreed

[raygundan]

Using the web on a phone has always sucked. At least until I installed the dedicated Google Maps application on my Treo 650. It's fast, brilliant to use, and better yet-- can quickly deliver me the phone number I would need to call if I wanted voice directions instead.

Google is the first provider I've seen get this right, and they did it on somebody else's generic, crappy hardware and OS. If google's phone platform is anything like their existing mobile app, I don't think they'll have any trouble. With a GPS receiver to save you the time of punching in where you are, it's a killer app.