Taliban Demands Downtime on Afghanistan Cellphone Networks

faster_manic writes "The Taliban has demanded that cellphone network providers in Afghanistan cease service between the hours of 5pm and 7am each night of the week, as they believe American troops are able to track down Taliban members using their cellphones."

This made me laugh!

[Ynsats]

This news story essentially amounts to the Taliban crying "C'mon guys! Play fair!"

Don't get me wrong, the news story is quite legit, it just sounds like the kids playing cowboys and indians in the playground.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[ack154]

I don't think they got that memo.

This is a good first step.

[brennanw]

Next, they'll get the phone companies to give them the phone records of all Afghani citizens who may be saying mean things about the Taliban. That's when we'll know the Taliban are on their way to becoming a full-fledged modern democracy like us.

Good Luck

[Bullfish]

Cell phone companies don't pay any heed to anyone. I suspect this ridiculous plea will get the same attention as someone wanting a fairer contract.

Huh?

[PontifexMaximus]

Okay, I MUST be missing something. They want cell phone providers to cease service between 7pm and 5am because the Americans can track them when they are using their cell phones? WTF? If they can do it between those hours, don't you FREAKING THINK THEY CAN OUTSIDE THOSE HOURS? Idiots. Well that just proves right there those dillholes don't know shit about technology. There's nothing better than a group who wants to keep their people in the Dark Ages.

Oh, hello, Congress. I didn't see you standing there. I was talking about the Taliban, not you. You guys are doing one hell of a bang up job in DC. Honest.

Cheap ass U.S. government

[Zygote-IC-]

Come on feds, spend the extra little bit of money and track these guys using something other than your unlimited "Nights and Weekends."

The real reason...

[hilather]

Since the invasion, residents of Afghanistan have been recieving an increasingly alarming amount of American telemarketing calls.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[rvw]

I don't think they got that memo.

Maybe you can put a demo on Youtube.

Re:Huh?

[Dunbal]

No, the tracking technology only works at night... because most of the attacks are at night. The fact that US troops are probably using their night vision equipment to gain an advantage over them at night has NOTHING to do with it.

Next they'll want immunity...

[John3]

Next thing you know the Taliban will demand immunity from lawsuits arising from damage or injuries caused by the cell service being shut down.

Re:Quick! Someone tag it with "religionofpeace"!

[neoform]

Better yet, don't identify yourself as being a Muslim who is against these 'radicals' and instead pan everyone else for stating what is obvious to them, islam is not a 'religion of peace'.

The Wile E. Coyote solution.

[jpellino]

Just slap one of these http://www.gethandyswitch.com/ [gethandyswitch.com] to each tower's fence, and let them knock themselves out.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[Dr. Eggman]

but...but...but what if you forget to turn it off...

Don't worry! If you forget to turn off your cell, some helpful people will come along and "turn off the cellphone" for you...

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[oyenstikker]

Damn religious zealots. When I forget to pick up my wine for communion on Saturday, I'm SOL the next morning.

5:00pm to 7:00am

[Darth_brooks]

Wow, i had no idea that terrorists and religious fundamentalists also worked normal business hours.....

"Tomorrow at 8:00pm, you will drive an explosives laden truck into the American barracks."

"Hold on, Muhammed. My position as a level 1 suicide bomber clearly states that this is a non-exempt position, and my scheduled hours are from 8:00am to 5:00pm complete with two fifteen minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch. I can't be forced to work any overtime. Look, we can take this all the way to Vicki in HR, but I'd really rather not.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[laejoh]

So just to be sure that I understand, you mean that the taliban and these guys [wikipedia.org] are a bit the same?

Re:obvious answer

[Anonymous Coward]

You could start tracking all the phones that drop off the network from 5pm-7am.

Brilliant.

Next you're going to tell us how light bulbs work by sucking up all the dark.

I think you misoverestimate them

[jesterpilot]

Seriously, i don't think they are as smart as you presume. They use the cell phones in combat to communicate. I'm afraid they want the networks shut down so they can call each other without being tracked. They're muslim terrorists you know, the type of guys who tried to sink a navy vessel but failed because they overloaded their boat [wikipedia.org].

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[ArcherB]

But for some reason, they are desperate enough to ask for help in turning the towers off because they think it is how we are finding them.

All they need to do is call a phone in the US. Then the Gov't can't track them without a warrant.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[cayenne8]

"Maybe they're thinking that people who regularly turn off their phones at night (and why at night?)"

Yeah, that's stupid...that's when the "Free Nights and Weekends" minutes kick in....

:-)

Re:Stupid

[Richthofen80]

Well, the Taliban recently converted to a new cult; This time, its the cult of Apple. Having bought hook, line and sinker into that stinking fetish, the Taliban all got themselves a new iPhone. However, little did they know that iPhone's contain no user servicable battery, so essentially there's no way to remove their battery, and thus no way to prevent being tracked. Yet another example of religion ruining everything.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[networkBoy]

There's nothing preventing a state from adopting statewide prohibition tomorrow if it desired to do so -- well, nothing except the voting public :)

I think you may have mis-spelled rioting
-nB

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[Bloke down the pub]

Too cheap to buy a round like everyone else.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[Neurotoxic666]

some helpful people

Don't antropomorphise .50 bullets, they don't like that.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[Anonymous Coward]

That's why Ahmed the Terrorist didn't get the memo, Islamic governments don't like how subversive Youtube is and outright ban it instead.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[Anonymous Coward]

Cell phone service is a critical public service. Being able to buy booze is not. You can't work around it if they turn the towers off.

You could make all your calls in advance.

Re:moderation system is broken

[Anonymous Coward]

It's amazing this place has not yet degenerated to Digg level, but that day is coming.

It hasn't?

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[rthille]

CA refers to those as "open container" laws.

I think in Texas, you can still drink your beer while driving your truck and shooting out the window at street signs.

Ok, I made that last bit up.

Re:Isn't it as easy as

[budgenator]

more like,
Mohamed dials 1-(800) us-army on his cell phone,
Mohamed: hey Army Joe, that scumbag taliban Achmed and his guys that keep stealing my chickens "for the cause" is coming through the village
US Army Joe: Sure no problem Mohamed, we'll light'em up out on the trail.
Mohamed: Thanks Joe, have a good one.