Microsoft Takes Another Stab At Tablets, Unveils Surface 2, Surface 2 Pro 381
Dputiger writes "Microsoft has unveiled both the Surface 2 and Surface 2 Pro, updating the former with a Tegra 4 processor and the latter with a new Haswell chip. Among the additional improvements are a more comfortable kickstand with two height settings, 1080p displays for both devices, USB 3.0 support, better battery life, and a higher resolution camera. Pricing for the 32GB Surface without a Touch or Type Cover is set at $449."
Or alternatively (Score:5, Funny)
"This isn't an iPad 2" and "This isn't an iPad 2 pro".
MS Tablet Strategy (Score:5, Funny)
Lighting $100 bills would be faster (Score:5, Funny)
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD (Score:5, Funny)
Or is it bad money, after worse?
Either way, get ready for the "great landfill contribution of 2014" from Microsoft.
Re:MS Tablet Strategy (Score:5, Funny)
Is like a broken Coke machine . . . maybe if they keep putting one more quarter in it, they'll finally get a cool refreshing drink . . .
To be fair, at least since the 70's you've needed to use the same process to get a Coke from a working machine. I'd say it's more like they jammed a fork in an electrical socket, and when they got shocked they decided they better try turning the fork around first.
Microsoft Make a Stab at Tablets (Score:5, Funny)
But they just can't kill the beast.
Re:MS Tablet Strategy (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, the way I envision it, Microsoft is on the third 10-minute break from a 6-10 night class. It missed dinner right before class, and it's starting to get hungry. There's actually a full meal in Microsoft's bag cooked by its live-in chef. But it's lasagna, and Microsoft doesn't want to disturb the rest of the class with the pungent aroma of parmesean cheese and tomato sauce. Besides, class is almost over. There's only another hour left, and then Microsoft gets to eat its dinner to its heart's desire.
Instead, Microsoft opts for a small snack, one that'd be good enough to satisfy it for the rest of class. It didn't bring one, but it saw classmates Apple and Google heading off in some direction down the hall and then coming back with snacks like hostess cupcakes and twinkies and pop tarts and pretzels and tons of other snack items. Apple and Google have been eating these little things during the previous hours of the lecture, and this made Microsoft hungrier.
So during this third, final break, as Apple and Google head to the vending machine once again for more food, Microsoft decides to follow. Microsoft hides around the corner as Apple and Google are picking up some snacks. This being night time, the lights in the halls are off, giving Microsoft the perfect environment to remain hidden. Microsoft has had a lot of practice hiding away from the plain sight of others, watching them and then doing as they did, which helps now. It waits for Apple and Google to return to the classroom, and then goes up to the machine. Microsoft sees a brand of chips it likes. Microsoft doesn't normally each chips, preferring gourmet food over small snacks inthe past, but it sees that the bag is bigger than the other bags, and it's cheaper than most of the other comparable items in the machine. So after it punches the number in, the first bag comes out. But to Microsoft's surprise, the bag promptly gets stuck against the glass. The bag of chips in question is actually too big to fit between the rack and the glass.
Now, Microsoft's standing in front of the machine, staring at it, wondering why its chips haven't fallen. From having observed others buy food at vending machines, it knows that it can just buy a second bag when the first gets stuck, and both bags will fall. So Microsoft puts in the requisite amount again and punches in the code for a second bag of the same brand. The second bag just gets stuck behind the first bag. It did dislodge the first bag a little, so Microsoft thinks this is a success.
But Microsoft hears Apple and Google coming back for some more food, probably stocking up for the next hour or so of class. And so Microsoft runs to hide around the corner again. It notices that Apple and Google see the stuck bags through the window. They point at it and laugh and wonder who the poor sap was who tried unsuccessfully to get not one, but two bags of chips. Then they put money in, punch for their desired items, and walk away with carrying their loot.
Now Microsoft is a bit angry, jealous and upset over being ridiculed, and a bit frustrated that the chips it chose is still stuck between the rack and the glass. So it puts more money in, and punches the code for a third bag, hoping that this might dislodge the first and second bags. But this does not help. In fact, no matter how many times Microsoft puts money in, nothing falls out. Everything just gets stick. After a while, even the motor stops turning.
But it doesn't matter. There are already four loose bags of chips ready to fall down, more than Microsoft can reasonably eat in the last hour of class. Microsoft has no more cash to spend. And class probably has resumed. Hungry, frustrated, broke, and in a hurry, Microsoft kicks the bottom of the machine, succeeding in only bruising its big toe. The bags of chips are still stuck. Then, after a moment of standing there thinking, even as class has certainly resumed for Apple and Google, a lightbulb goes off in Microsoft's head.
Microsoft grabs the top of the vending machine, and pulls.
Re:MS Tablet Strategy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:MS Tablet Strategy (Score:5, Funny)
You must have carried that analogy in here with a forklift.
Re:Yes, but... (Score:5, Funny)
If it ran Android I'd buy it for the hardware specs it has... if only it had wifi!
If we had meat, we could make a sandwich, if we had bread...
Re:Key differences (Score:5, Funny)