Google Glasses Announced 249
Eponymous Hero writes "The Geordi La Forge in all of us rejoices as Google announces Google Glasses, the augmented reality glasses that will no doubt spy on everything you look at and target you with ads at that crucial moment. The only question left begging is how soon can we merge them with bionic eye implants?"
Oblig (Score:5, Funny)
The googles! They do nothing!
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Re:Oblig (Score:5, Funny)
If you modify the phase variance, invert the polarity and transfer 10% of the dilithium matrix into your processing center, you might just hear a faint wooosh.
That is, if you're not in the holodeck. But how would you know?
merge them with bionic eye implants? (Score:5, Insightful)
I already have a bionic eye implant, and it would work well with these glasses. It would suck having to wear glasses again, though.
I wouldn't want a HUD implanted. You realise you have to have a needle stuck in your eye to get an implant? It doesn't hurt but it does kind of freak you out.
You will be assimilated... if you live long enough. All the cyborgs I know are geezers.
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What everybody here is missing is that pic has been photoshopped. They cloned out the little wire going directly into her brain.
Google now has access to everything. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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At first I read it as "Glasses now have access to everything. Be afraid. Be very afraid." and was going to comment how you can mitigate the security risks of theft/lost by tying these into a smart phone sized device and these being effectively the input/output.
Then I reread it and saw "Google now has access to everything". Welp. I guess they've already taken control of my brain.
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It doesn't hurt but it does kind of freak you out.
I had a cornea transplant and went thru a lot of the needle-in-the-eye bit. You vastly understate the issue. I ended up telling the surgeon early on "you need to sedate me because if you poke me with that needle again in the eye I'm going to do my level best to kill you".
Even today, with follow-ups, if a stitch breaks and needs pulled it totally freaks me out.
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Ouch, a cornea transplant is a lot more complex than a lensectomy. The lensectomy only requires one needle, one hole, no stiches. They shoot ultrasound down the needle to turn the lens (not the cornea, the focusing lens behind the iris) to jelly, suck it out, and put the implant in down the needle.
I'll have to ask my drinking buddy Bill about his transplants. Both corneas and a liver. The guy keeps it up and they'll have replaced all of him.
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. . .drinking buddy about his transplants. Both corneas and a liver.
Was the liver transplant so that he could keep on going?
Re:merge them with bionic eye implants? (Score:4, Funny)
Added a second liver for the drinking. Also hollowed out one of his legs.
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Is it any worse than lasik? In that case they slice the front of your eyeball so a flap is hanging off, lift the flap up, fire the laser into the exposed cornea, then lay the flap back down & smooth it out with a stick. All while you're awake & lucid of course.
Getting lasik was one of the best decisions I've made, but I have no idea how I got through the process without being
Re:merge them with bionic eye implants? (Score:4)
Suddenly Futurama's apple piss take "eyePhone" episode seems less of a piss take of Apple >.
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It's important to root it if you do not wish to be assimilated.
Oddly enough, in Australia the inverse is often true.
Wow (Score:5, Insightful)
I thought bluetooth headsets enabled people to be oblivious a-holes, but wait till this gets in the hands of the masses.
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I was just going to suggest that perhaps they could make it slightly cheaper by making it a bluetooth peripheral rather than a full fledged android phone.
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Yes, can hardly wait for an army of idiots walking around talking to themselves.
You don't have to wait (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, can hardly wait for an army of idiots walking around talking to themselves.
Book a ticket to San Francisco right now!
Between people with bluetooth headsets and a vast array of homeless, your dream will be true in no time.
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I've been cursed with perfect vision so I never got to wear those thick black rimmed glasses, now's my chance to embrace my inner hipster!
I felt a disturbance in the force... (Score:5, Funny)
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From the Wired article...
reminiscent of the visor that Geordi La Forge wore on âoeStar Trek: The Next Generation,â but Google has also been experimenting with a version that piggybacks on regular spectacles.
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that won't happen because google is also driving your car for you while you look at lolcats, what you should expect is lots of people walking into and tripping over things as the watch netflix. with one eye and update facebook with the other
Always thought I'd love Augmented reality (Score:5, Insightful)
but google dissuaded me of that with one minute of their "in the life of" video.
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Not a problem. What you want is the hardware, to do with as you'd like. :)
Or, you know, the inevitable diy versions that'll probably burn your retinas.
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I think I'll put those glasses on record for the first half of my life and then sit back and watch.
Re:Always thought I'd love Augmented reality (Score:5, Interesting)
For example, instead of the annoying popup that says "Turn left at XYZ street", this thing ought to give you directions by overlaying a subtle line over the sidewalk... then you just follow the Yellow Brick Road. The popups would even be more annoying (and perhaps dangerous) while driving, while displaying a line on the road would be ok (perhaps also highlighting exit signs you need to be aware of). Or imagine AR-enabled instructions (posted on Youtube perhaps), that don't just explain you how to replace your iPhone's battery for example, but highlights the actual parts as you work on them, showing you what goes where etc.
Such AR would also enable something Google might be interested in: overlaying billboards with their own ads. Of course you could use it as a RL adblock, and remove the ads altogether (someone called this "diminished reality").
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Such AR would also enable something Google might be interested in: overlaying billboards with their own ads. Of course you could use it as a RL adblock, and remove the ads altogether (someone called this "diminished reality").
Oh that so rocks. I was getting all annoyed by the idea of real-life <blink> tags, but real-life ad-block is freaking genius.
I can even imagine a crowd-sourced library of "behind" photos - so that billboards and other uglies would be replaced with images of the actual skyline that they currently block out.
Hipster Glasses (Score:3, Insightful)
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They better include a full HUD (Score:5, Funny)
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I'm sure this [magcount.com] can be hacked to transmit the round count over wifi or something.
Brain overload (Score:2)
Re:Brain overload (Score:5, Interesting)
Something in between, actually.
Over time, as the information it provides genuinely proves itself useful, the brain would become increasingly dependent on the additional information being provided by it to convey an accurate presentation of things. Unless they were accustomed to dealing with periodic system disruptions, removing it for even a short period would result in the same sort of disorientation and confusion that arises if a person suddenly lost one of their senses.
Re:Brain overload (Score:5, Funny)
Sooo... Would this cause your brain to overload with all the additional information - or for it to step aside and cease to function?
If you're the sort who will run right out and pick one up as soon as they become available, brain function has likely already ceased.
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I can hope. (Score:2)
Dragon Quest EVERYWHERE.
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A great limited-time offer on a 4G Ice Cream Sandwich phone draws near!
Command?
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That *does* raise interesting implications for geo-caching! Once you find the loot it could even play the Zelda "da da da daaaaah!" victory sound while you hold it above your head...
Cool hardware (Score:2)
...but I'm not using it with the standard Google software for sure.
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Hooking it up to a portable back-scatter x-ray?
{cue film noir voiceover} The are a million stories in the naked city, mine is one of them...{voiceover off}
hmm (Score:2)
I love... (Score:5, Funny)
I love how the pitch boils down to "Google goggles: they'll help you get laid". (Ukulele not included)
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I love how the pitch boils down to "Google goggles: they'll help you get laid". (Ukulele not included)
I've seen women in sex toy ads that look less excited about their product, than the model in the GOOG ads.
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... someday.
how will they change my life? (Score:5, Insightful)
yes they are cool, but i don't see the usability factor other than it being a smartphone i wear. How will they change my life making them a killer device to buy?
my smartphone makes calls. plays games. plays music and movies. records life events. i use it as my GPS device.etc etc etc.
how will these do it better? from the video it seems their biggest draw is to make you buy stuff right away. i bet the marketers will love them and normal people will hate them
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How will they change my life making them a killer device to buy?
I'd like to link them to the GPS.
Also I take it you've never played with the google-goggles app... this seems a natural connection.
I would also like indicator lamps for messages waiting.
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i prefer the amazon pricing app, and no i don't search half the things i see on a daily basis
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I'd be interested if... (Score:5, Insightful)
...they looked like regular shades and not some "I am a geek" fashion statement. I think it's bad enough seeing social zeros walking around with bluetooth headsets in their ears, although thankfully that practice seems to be on the wane.
I noticed that when the user went to share a photo he just took it went on to his Google+ account. If I have the choice of sharing on Facebook then that'd be cool.
I like the concept though. I wonder if Apple are going to get in on this act with some iShades or something. Augmented reality is becoming common now on the smartphone with apps like Yelp which has a nifty Monocle feature that lets you see all the local businesses nearby just by pointing the phone at your surroundings. Stands to reason that eyewear will end up doing the same thing.
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...they looked like regular shades and not some "I am a geek" fashion statement.
Yeah, those would really clash with your 'Porkchop Sandwhiches" T-shirt.
Danger! (Score:5, Insightful)
If you think people with cellphones are dangerous, wait until they start wearing these while driving.
Re:Danger! (Score:5, Funny)
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If you think people with cellphones are dangerous, wait until they start wearing these while driving.
Oh.. I dunno, there's definitely an appeal for having the "Turn Right!" indicator flash in their field of vision instead of having to look away towards their GPS.
Dual Purpose Device (Score:4, Funny)
They also act as birth-control
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Unless there is an app for it.
CC.
It's going to Freak people out (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm already too plugged in with my iPhone and iPad (Score:3, Interesting)
The last thing I want is to be more plugged in. I don't want things popping up in my field of vision unbidden either. I am obviously not their target market. Maybe teens and college kids will love it. To me it's a total fail.
Re:I'm already too plugged in with my iPhone and i (Score:5, Insightful)
Just like your iPhone and iPad, you will be able to turn these off/remove them when you don't want things popping up unbidden in your field of vision. More likely they will be configurable enough to manage the balance between unbidden and on demand behavior. If not, there will be a CyanogenMod build that is configurable enough to tweak to you're liking, including compensating for your profound lack of self-discipline if you can't make yourself unplug on your own.
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Re:I'm already too plugged in with my iPhone and i (Score:5, Insightful)
Did you ever look at your parents when you were young and wondered when you'd get to that point where your thought patterns would switch from "cool" to "what we've got is good enough, dagnabbit" and you'd be officially old? Congrats, you're there. Its not a set age, its a state of mind.
Are there going to be problems with these? Sure. Will they be clunky and not good to start with? Of course. Is it the start of "something new", possibly something awesome? Most definitely. Sorry you won't be along for the ride.
Pictures of the glasses (Score:5, Informative)
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I can see a bunch of scrawny nerds roaming in packs and beating down people with bluetooth headsets on.
"Luddite nooooooobs!" *punch* *punch* *punch*
Most people aren't exciting enough to use these (Score:5, Interesting)
The one common thread in all of these videos with smartphones, smart glasses, etc. is an ADD-hyperactive 20-ish person who is *always* portrayed as living in a bustling city with a million different things happening at once...and never working at a job. While people in this type of environment really do exist (Strand Books is a family book store in NYC, btw), that is not how the majority of the US and the rest of the world lives.
I think a more exciting and relate-able way of introducing this technology is to show how it could be used some sort of work or industrial environment. For example, I found a lot more ways to use and relate to a smartphone at work before I could begin to integrate one into my non-work life.
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you're on to something
this is meant for the 20 something kid who shares rent of an apartment with roommates and spends all his/her money on eating out, partying and buying crap. this is just a way to get him to buy something as soon is it pops onto the glasses
for normal people with kids and jobs i don't see a point of wearing these
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They show those kinds of videos to display the ways you can use the technology, not necessarily how you will use them. How you will use them at work depends entirely on what kind of job you have. For instance, if you ever have to go into a warehouse type setting, they could display an overlay with the positions of various items. Or the status of a specific server in a server room (IP address, hardware/software configuration). Or a car-repairman could use it to look up whether a specific part is in stock sim
The only question left begging is how soon... (Score:2)
The only question left begging is how soon can we merge them with bionic eye implants?
I believe the answer is 2027 [deusex.com].
Time limited offer (Score:2)
All will go well until Google decides this is yet another project they blew a bunch of money on for no real return, and send a remote-kill command to all the units. Like Buzz and Wave and Health and and and...
Sixth Sense (Score:2)
Word of advice (Score:2)
Don't look at yr junk unless you want the truth.
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Don't look at yr junk unless you want the truth.
"Why does this stupid thing always show me Valtrex ads every time I hit the pisser? Aw, fuck..."
Battery Life (Score:3)
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I completely agree. It will work and be successful, only if it can be used to its full capacity for a full day on one charge. Maybe they can use the body's heat to help power it or something.
Also, what about lefties?
Happiness only real when shared. (Score:4, Insightful)
Mai Waifu (Score:2)
Was I the only one who thought it was kinda sad that he "shared" the sunset with the girl, but he really was there all alone?
Well, happiness and sadness are relative to your starting position. If you had a real girl before, of course it'd be sad. But if all you have is a waifu, being able to see her besides you would be an upgrade.
The whole time that video was running (Score:3)
I kept picking up on all the obvious places where the Google ads would be. Come on, you KNOW it's going to happen...
When your eyes settle on the sandwich you're about to eat
AUTO-AD: Wouldn't some TIM'S CASCADE CHIPS go good with this sandwich? They're only $1.99 at a store 300 ft. from your current location
As you say 'Meet me at Strand Books'
AUTO-AD: BARNES & NOBLE has a much bigger selection of music books, and is conveniently located one block to your left.
Walking down street
AUTO-AD: Immediately to your left - CITY DENTURES AND IMPLANTS has been providing quality orthodontia for over 50 years!
While grabbing coffee at a street vendor recommended by your friend
AUTO-AD: STARBUCKS is 250 feet behind you, and is running a special - $1.00 off with coupon code 100OFFNOW
"The only question left begging" (Score:3, Informative)
There's no question to beg.
Reference: http://begthequestion.info/ [begthequestion.info]
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OMG! Brain Cancer! (Score:2)
Oblig. Futurama (Score:2)
Like everything else, porn will drive this (Score:5, Funny)
I can't wait for the app that will analyze a woman's clothing and give you a virtual facsimile of what she looks like naked. It's going to happen. And then it will be banned in the app store. And then it will be remade for the use of one pedophile on rooted glasses so they can see little kids naked out in the street. And then congress will get involved and the glasses will be banned.
You know what, let's just forget the whole thing.
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There's no reason you can't do that already with a smart phone. And somebody already faked that:
http://www.intomobile.com/2010/01/11/nude-it-iphone-app-uses-augmented-reality-to-show-your-friends-naked-not/ [intomobile.com]
I've actually seen the reverse: augmented reality stuck on web cams to add silly hats and other things to people.
Legal battles to follow... (Score:2)
The MPAA attempt to compel theaters to disable my camera as I head into a movie?
The RIAA will seek to eavesdrop and charge me for listening to music I may not have licensed from them.
Cops will pull drivers over for distracted driving (even if only a GPS app was running), and compel drivers to share their unlock password to review what was running.
Someone will post videos from the changing room at a gym and get sued.
An employee will sue after being fired when management jacks into the camera on the company i
Camera (Score:2)
For a long time I have wanted my phone camera mounted onto my glasses. Beyond that I am not sure I am interested in the rest of the stuff.
goo-goo-googly eyes? (Score:2)
but I already live in the Jobs Reality Distortion Field!
And you thought Girls Around Me was bad... (Score:2)
... well perhaps you didn't.
Just think of the apps you can run on this - where are the girls? Just look up and there is a big virtual arrow in the sky pointing!
Boring Applications (Score:2)
e.g.
1. Watching tv at work without your boss knowing.
2. A virtual assistant that you can customize who actually stands in the environment around you (locked into place using SLAM). Think Number Six from Galactica.
3. Objects that appear in the environment that only you and and your friends can see. e.g. A huge statue of yourself at a popular tourist location.
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http://cdn2.sbnation.com/entry_photo_images/3599388/google4_gallery_post.jpg [sbnation.com]
http://images.wikia.com/startrek/images/d/dd/Seven_of_Nine.jpg [wikia.com]
Indeed.
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Resistance? As a cyborg I'll clue you in -- you not only won't resist, you'll pay good money to be assimilated. It cost me over $1000, and that's after insurance. I'll probably get the other eye done in a couple of years.
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I saw this announced six weeks ago, so its a big lead-up to an April Fools, if so.
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You know, you're free to take them off. They're nothing like the cyberman headsets of Doctor Who or the Connexus from Appleseed Ex Machina.
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yet...
Re:Creepy (Score:5, Interesting)
Well, it depends on exactly how they implement it.
The standard advertising model is right out - I'll happily pay for it.
I'd love face recognition, but only from my personal address book. I have a horrible memory for faces, so I'd love that sort of memory aid. But having it auto-dial up Facebook and such is a bit too creepy for my taste.
It'd need to let me turn on/off notifications - I don't let my iPhone buzz when I get an email, I'm sure as hell not going to accept popups.
If there's a full-color display, I want zoom capability - use the camera, show me what I'm looking at, and then "enhance".
And if they're going to make it voice-activated, they'd damned well make sure it only listens to me. (Or else I *will* troll everyone wearing one of these.)
Re:Creepy (Score:5, Funny)
...they'd damned well make sure it only listens to me. (Or else I *will* troll everyone wearing one of these.)
"Browse goatse" will be the new battle cry.
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you spend a lot of time looking at your dick in the bathroom?
Those of us that don't sit down have to aim.
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Or we just hang it in there. Obviously.