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Google Advertising Technology

Google Glasses Announced 249

Posted by samzenpus
from the let-google-do-the-looking dept.
Eponymous Hero writes "The Geordi La Forge in all of us rejoices as Google announces Google Glasses, the augmented reality glasses that will no doubt spy on everything you look at and target you with ads at that crucial moment. The only question left begging is how soon can we merge them with bionic eye implants?"

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Google Glasses Announced

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  • Oblig (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:32PM (#39574613)

    The googles! They do nothing!

    • by TWX (665546)
      I had to reread that several times to finally get it. Now my coworkers think I'm even more crazy than they thought before...
  • by mcgrew (92797) * on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:32PM (#39574615) Homepage Journal

    I already have a bionic eye implant, and it would work well with these glasses. It would suck having to wear glasses again, though.

    I wouldn't want a HUD implanted. You realise you have to have a needle stuck in your eye to get an implant? It doesn't hurt but it does kind of freak you out.

    You will be assimilated... if you live long enough. All the cyborgs I know are geezers.

    • What everybody here is missing is that pic has been photoshopped. They cloned out the little wire going directly into her brain.

      Google now has access to everything. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

      • At first I read it as "Glasses now have access to everything. Be afraid. Be very afraid." and was going to comment how you can mitigate the security risks of theft/lost by tying these into a smart phone sized device and these being effectively the input/output.

        Then I reread it and saw "Google now has access to everything". Welp. I guess they've already taken control of my brain.

      • How little do you know! They used a healing brush.
    • by chill (34294)

      It doesn't hurt but it does kind of freak you out.

      I had a cornea transplant and went thru a lot of the needle-in-the-eye bit. You vastly understate the issue. I ended up telling the surgeon early on "you need to sedate me because if you poke me with that needle again in the eye I'm going to do my level best to kill you".

      Even today, with follow-ups, if a stitch breaks and needs pulled it totally freaks me out.

      • by mcgrew (92797) *

        Ouch, a cornea transplant is a lot more complex than a lensectomy. The lensectomy only requires one needle, one hole, no stiches. They shoot ultrasound down the needle to turn the lens (not the cornea, the focusing lens behind the iris) to jelly, suck it out, and put the implant in down the needle.

        I'll have to ask my drinking buddy Bill about his transplants. Both corneas and a liver. The guy keeps it up and they'll have replaced all of him.

    • by tobiasly (524456)

      You realise you have to have a needle stuck in your eye to get an implant? It doesn't hurt but it does kind of freak you out.

      Is it any worse than lasik? In that case they slice the front of your eyeball so a flap is hanging off, lift the flap up, fire the laser into the exposed cornea, then lay the flap back down & smooth it out with a stick. All while you're awake & lucid of course.

      Getting lasik was one of the best decisions I've made, but I have no idea how I got through the process without being

    • by beelsebob (529313) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:19PM (#39575363)

      Suddenly Futurama's apple piss take "eyePhone" episode seems less of a piss take of Apple >.

  • Wow (Score:5, Insightful)

    by ddd0004 (1984672) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:34PM (#39574635)

    I thought bluetooth headsets enabled people to be oblivious a-holes, but wait till this gets in the hands of the masses.

    • I was just going to suggest that perhaps they could make it slightly cheaper by making it a bluetooth peripheral rather than a full fledged android phone.

    • by MarkGriz (520778)

      Yes, can hardly wait for an army of idiots walking around talking to themselves.

    • by EnsilZah (575600)

      I've been cursed with perfect vision so I never got to wear those thick black rimmed glasses, now's my chance to embrace my inner hipster!

  • by Aphrika (756248) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:34PM (#39574651)
    ...as if a million nerds suddenly went out and bought contacts...
    • by TWX (665546)
      Eh. William Gibson already went over this in his Blue Ant trilogy, mostly in Spook Country. I'm actually working to get back out of artificial enhancement of an environment. Too many people don't see what's actually there without something artificial modifying the experience.
    • by SomePgmr (2021234)

      From the Wired article...

      reminiscent of the visor that Geordi La Forge wore on âoeStar Trek: The Next Generation,â but Google has also been experimenting with a version that piggybacks on regular spectacles.

  • by Tragek (772040) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:36PM (#39574669) Journal

    but google dissuaded me of that with one minute of their "in the life of" video.

    • by SomePgmr (2021234)

      Not a problem. What you want is the hardware, to do with as you'd like. :)

      Or, you know, the inevitable diy versions that'll probably burn your retinas.

      • by tinkerton (199273)

        I think I'll put those glasses on record for the first half of my life and then sit back and watch.

    • by JaredOfEuropa (526365) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @03:08PM (#39576311) Journal
      As far as AR goes, the demo looks a little meh. Good AR makes better use of positional awareness (location & attitude), and takes visual cues from a camera to figure out just what you are looking at. The result is AR that actually augments reality, rather than just displays a few amusing overlays on top of it.

      For example, instead of the annoying popup that says "Turn left at XYZ street", this thing ought to give you directions by overlaying a subtle line over the sidewalk... then you just follow the Yellow Brick Road. The popups would even be more annoying (and perhaps dangerous) while driving, while displaying a line on the road would be ok (perhaps also highlighting exit signs you need to be aware of). Or imagine AR-enabled instructions (posted on Youtube perhaps), that don't just explain you how to replace your iPhone's battery for example, but highlights the actual parts as you work on them, showing you what goes where etc.

      Such AR would also enable something Google might be interested in: overlaying billboards with their own ads. Of course you could use it as a RL adblock, and remove the ads altogether (someone called this "diminished reality").
      • Such AR would also enable something Google might be interested in: overlaying billboards with their own ads. Of course you could use it as a RL adblock, and remove the ads altogether (someone called this "diminished reality").

        Oh that so rocks. I was getting all annoyed by the idea of real-life <blink> tags, but real-life ad-block is freaking genius.

        I can even imagine a crowd-sourced library of "behind" photos - so that billboards and other uglies would be replaced with images of the actual skyline that they currently block out.

  • Hipster Glasses (Score:3, Insightful)

    by eljefe6a (2289776) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:36PM (#39574671) Homepage
    Was anyone else wondering if the glasses he wears are hipster glasses?
  • by flabordec (984984) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:37PM (#39574681) Homepage
    It must include how much ammo I have left, my health and armor. Extra points if it has an image of my head as I take damage.
  • Sooo... Would this cause your brain to overload with all the additional information - or for it to step aside and cease to function?
    • Re:Brain overload (Score:5, Interesting)

      by mark-t (151149) <markt@@@lynx...bc...ca> on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:47PM (#39574813) Journal

      Something in between, actually.

      Over time, as the information it provides genuinely proves itself useful, the brain would become increasingly dependent on the additional information being provided by it to convey an accurate presentation of things. Unless they were accustomed to dealing with periodic system disruptions, removing it for even a short period would result in the same sort of disorientation and confusion that arises if a person suddenly lost one of their senses.

    • by CanHasDIY (1672858) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:30PM (#39575573) Homepage Journal

      Sooo... Would this cause your brain to overload with all the additional information - or for it to step aside and cease to function?

      If you're the sort who will run right out and pick one up as soon as they become available, brain function has likely already ceased.

      • by Baloroth (2370816)
        Why would you say that? I've been looking forward to augmented-reality glasses for a decade at least, and I already wear glasses due to poor vision. If they released a version that fairly inconspicuously worked with or supplanted regular glasses, there would be little reason for me not to buy them.
  • I hope that they do something similar to what the April fools joke did to google maps.
    Dragon Quest EVERYWHERE.
    • by game kid (805301)

      A great limited-time offer on a 4G Ice Cream Sandwich phone draws near!

      Command?

    • by tobiasly (524456)

      I hope that they do something similar to what the April fools joke did to google maps. Dragon Quest EVERYWHERE.

      That *does* raise interesting implications for geo-caching! Once you find the loot it could even play the Zelda "da da da daaaaah!" victory sound while you hold it above your head...

  • ...but I'm not using it with the standard Google software for sure.

    • Hooking it up to a portable back-scatter x-ray?

      {cue film noir voiceover} The are a million stories in the naked city, mine is one of them...{voiceover off}

  • by P-niiice (1703362)
    if google wallet and NFC is integrated into this thing its only a matter of time before you'll be pickpocketed with a well-timed noogie
  • I love... (Score:5, Funny)

    by blue_adept (40915) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:45PM (#39574791)

    I love how the pitch boils down to "Google goggles: they'll help you get laid". (Ukulele not included)

    • by vlm (69642)

      I love how the pitch boils down to "Google goggles: they'll help you get laid". (Ukulele not included)

      I've seen women in sex toy ads that look less excited about their product, than the model in the GOOG ads.

    • by Inda (580031)
      Chicks dig a man with thick lenses.
    • by ceoyoyo (59147)

      ... someday.

  • by alen (225700) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:46PM (#39574795)

    yes they are cool, but i don't see the usability factor other than it being a smartphone i wear. How will they change my life making them a killer device to buy?

    my smartphone makes calls. plays games. plays music and movies. records life events. i use it as my GPS device.etc etc etc.

    how will these do it better? from the video it seems their biggest draw is to make you buy stuff right away. i bet the marketers will love them and normal people will hate them

  • by fiannaFailMan (702447) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:47PM (#39574815) Journal

    ...they looked like regular shades and not some "I am a geek" fashion statement. I think it's bad enough seeing social zeros walking around with bluetooth headsets in their ears, although thankfully that practice seems to be on the wane.

    I noticed that when the user went to share a photo he just took it went on to his Google+ account. If I have the choice of sharing on Facebook then that'd be cool.

    I like the concept though. I wonder if Apple are going to get in on this act with some iShades or something. Augmented reality is becoming common now on the smartphone with apps like Yelp which has a nifty Monocle feature that lets you see all the local businesses nearby just by pointing the phone at your surroundings. Stands to reason that eyewear will end up doing the same thing.

    • ...they looked like regular shades and not some "I am a geek" fashion statement.

      Yeah, those would really clash with your 'Porkchop Sandwhiches" T-shirt.

  • Danger! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Yvan256 (722131) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:49PM (#39574837) Homepage Journal

    If you think people with cellphones are dangerous, wait until they start wearing these while driving.

    • Re:Danger! (Score:5, Funny)

      by johanwanderer (1078391) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:58PM (#39574961)
      Yes! Then you can play racing games while driving to work! Using Google Maps layers for tracks! Better yet, you can race against your coworkers to see who will get to work first. Productivity will soar!
    • If you think people with cellphones are dangerous, wait until they start wearing these while driving.

      Oh.. I dunno, there's definitely an appeal for having the "Turn Right!" indicator flash in their field of vision instead of having to look away towards their GPS.

  • by tim_q54 (210947) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:56PM (#39574927)

    They also act as birth-control

  • by na1led (1030470) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:56PM (#39574935)
    It's bad enough that someone will be talking on a bluetooth headset without you knowing, making it seem strange that someone is talking to them selves. Now they will be looking at you and talking to someone else. I can see it now - "Are you looking at me?" "What are you looking at!", hmm.
  • by divisionbyzero (300681) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @01:59PM (#39575011)

    The last thing I want is to be more plugged in. I don't want things popping up in my field of vision unbidden either. I am obviously not their target market. Maybe teens and college kids will love it. To me it's a total fail.

    • by c0d3g33k (102699) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:13PM (#39575237)

      Just like your iPhone and iPad, you will be able to turn these off/remove them when you don't want things popping up unbidden in your field of vision. More likely they will be configurable enough to manage the balance between unbidden and on demand behavior. If not, there will be a CyanogenMod build that is configurable enough to tweak to you're liking, including compensating for your profound lack of self-discipline if you can't make yourself unplug on your own.

    • by Piata (927858)
      To me the iPhone and the iPad are total fail. Different strokes for different folks. I personally have no interest in Google Glasses but I can appreciate the attempt and the tech behind it.
    • by badboy_tw2002 (524611) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:33PM (#39575649)

      Did you ever look at your parents when you were young and wondered when you'd get to that point where your thought patterns would switch from "cool" to "what we've got is good enough, dagnabbit" and you'd be officially old? Congrats, you're there. Its not a set age, its a state of mind.

      Are there going to be problems with these? Sure. Will they be clunky and not good to start with? Of course. Is it the start of "something new", possibly something awesome? Most definitely. Sorry you won't be along for the ride.

  • by johanwanderer (1078391) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:01PM (#39575029)
    From their design study [google.com]. And an article about it: project glass [allthingsd.com].
    • by Ihmhi (1206036)

      I can see a bunch of scrawny nerds roaming in packs and beating down people with bluetooth headsets on.

      "Luddite nooooooobs!" *punch* *punch* *punch*

  • The one common thread in all of these videos with smartphones, smart glasses, etc. is an ADD-hyperactive 20-ish person who is *always* portrayed as living in a bustling city with a million different things happening at once...and never working at a job. While people in this type of environment really do exist (Strand Books is a family book store in NYC, btw), that is not how the majority of the US and the rest of the world lives.

    I think a more exciting and relate-able way of introducing this technology is to show how it could be used some sort of work or industrial environment. For example, I found a lot more ways to use and relate to a smartphone at work before I could begin to integrate one into my non-work life.

    • by alen (225700)

      you're on to something

      this is meant for the 20 something kid who shares rent of an apartment with roommates and spends all his/her money on eating out, partying and buying crap. this is just a way to get him to buy something as soon is it pops onto the glasses

      for normal people with kids and jobs i don't see a point of wearing these

    • by Baloroth (2370816)

      They show those kinds of videos to display the ways you can use the technology, not necessarily how you will use them. How you will use them at work depends entirely on what kind of job you have. For instance, if you ever have to go into a warehouse type setting, they could display an overlay with the positions of various items. Or the status of a specific server in a server room (IP address, hardware/software configuration). Or a car-repairman could use it to look up whether a specific part is in stock sim

  • The only question left begging is how soon can we merge them with bionic eye implants?

    I believe the answer is 2027 [deusex.com].

  • All will go well until Google decides this is yet another project they blew a bunch of money on for no real return, and send a remote-kill command to all the units. Like Buzz and Wave and Health and and and...

  • They should link to that product the ideas behind SixthSense [pranavmistry.com], at least for display, gestures as user interfaces, and what kind of information you can pick and expand from environment.
  • Don't look at yr junk unless you want the truth.

    • Don't look at yr junk unless you want the truth.

      "Why does this stupid thing always show me Valtrex ads every time I hit the pisser? Aw, fuck..."

  • by Gazzonyx (982402) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:18PM (#39575357)
    I have no idea how they expect to burn so many CPU cycles doing real time computation and keeping a bright-in-daylight screen on while having decent battery life on a device so small that it fits on glasses frames. The idea is cool, but I think we need a breakthrough in battery technology to support these Google Glasses.
    • by Bigby (659157)

      I completely agree. It will work and be successful, only if it can be used to its full capacity for a full day on one charge. Maybe they can use the body's heat to help power it or something.

      Also, what about lefties?

  • by slasho81 (455509) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:20PM (#39575397)
    Was I the only one who thought it was kinda sad that he "shared" the sunset with the girl, but he really was there all alone?
    • Was I the only one who thought it was kinda sad that he "shared" the sunset with the girl, but he really was there all alone?

      Well, happiness and sadness are relative to your starting position. If you had a real girl before, of course it'd be sad. But if all you have is a waifu, being able to see her besides you would be an upgrade.

  • by 93 Escort Wagon (326346) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:21PM (#39575401)

    I kept picking up on all the obvious places where the Google ads would be. Come on, you KNOW it's going to happen...

    When your eyes settle on the sandwich you're about to eat
    AUTO-AD: Wouldn't some TIM'S CASCADE CHIPS go good with this sandwich? They're only $1.99 at a store 300 ft. from your current location

    As you say 'Meet me at Strand Books'
    AUTO-AD: BARNES & NOBLE has a much bigger selection of music books, and is conveniently located one block to your left.

    Walking down street
    AUTO-AD: Immediately to your left - CITY DENTURES AND IMPLANTS has been providing quality orthodontia for over 50 years!

    While grabbing coffee at a street vendor recommended by your friend
    AUTO-AD: STARBUCKS is 250 feet behind you, and is running a special - $1.00 off with coupon code 100OFFNOW

  • by broohaha (5295) on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:22PM (#39575437) Homepage

    There's no question to beg.

    Reference: http://begthequestion.info/ [begthequestion.info]

    • by Opyros (1153335)
      But the OP didn't say there was! I actually thought that was a neat phrase, which sidesteps the usual ludicrous arguments about the meaning of "to beg the question".
  • You just know... "With those things sitting right at your temple this has got to cause RF induced brain cancer! The CDC and WHO should stop this before it can even get started! OMG OMG OMG." ... it's going to happen.
  • eyePhone [youtube.com] from Futurama episode Attack of the Killer App S06E03.
  • by RyoShin (610051) <tukaro.gmail@com> on Wednesday April 04, 2012 @02:48PM (#39575935) Homepage Journal

    I can't wait for the app that will analyze a woman's clothing and give you a virtual facsimile of what she looks like naked. It's going to happen. And then it will be banned in the app store. And then it will be remade for the use of one pedophile on rooted glasses so they can see little kids naked out in the street. And then congress will get involved and the glasses will be banned.

    You know what, let's just forget the whole thing.

  • The MPAA attempt to compel theaters to disable my camera as I head into a movie?
    The RIAA will seek to eavesdrop and charge me for listening to music I may not have licensed from them.
    Cops will pull drivers over for distracted driving (even if only a GPS app was running), and compel drivers to share their unlock password to review what was running.
    Someone will post videos from the changing room at a gym and get sued.
    An employee will sue after being fired when management jacks into the camera on the company i

  • For a long time I have wanted my phone camera mounted onto my glasses. Beyond that I am not sure I am interested in the rest of the stuff.

  • but I already live in the Jobs Reality Distortion Field!

  • ... well perhaps you didn't.

    Just think of the apps you can run on this - where are the girls? Just look up and there is a big virtual arrow in the sky pointing!

  • I love the idea, but they have shown very boring uses in their video. Surely there are more exciting applications they could have shown.

    e.g.

    1. Watching tv at work without your boss knowing.

    2. A virtual assistant that you can customize who actually stands in the environment around you (locked into place using SLAM). Think Number Six from Galactica.

    3. Objects that appear in the environment that only you and and your friends can see. e.g. A huge statue of yourself at a popular tourist location.

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