MS Design Lets You Put Batteries In Any Way You Want 453
Posted
by
timothy
from the dis-orientation dept.
from the dis-orientation dept.
jangel writes "While its strategy for mobile devices might be a mess, Microsoft has announced something we'll all benefit from. The company's patented design for battery contacts will allow users of portable devices — digital cameras, flashlights, remote controls, toys, you name it — to insert their batteries in any direction. Compatible with AA and AAA cells, among others, the 'InstaLoad' technology does not require special electronics or circuitry, the company claims."
What to work on next. (Score:5, Funny)
Thats one of lifes great problems solved. Any chance they can work on Windows stability next?
Bob.
No reverse polarity. (Score:2, Funny)
Scotty will turn in his grave. MS killed the hyperdrive fix.
Pretty proud, eh? (Score:4, Funny)
They even made a logo for it. http://www.windowsfordevices.com/images/stories/microsoft_instaload_logo.jpg [windowsfordevices.com]
Neat but not buzzword or logo worthy.
Re:Did Microsoft REALLY just patent the diode brid (Score:5, Funny)
Sometimes the stuff you learn in basic electronics can be really useful. In this case though it just made you look like a dick. RTFA.
Re:Great! (Score:2, Funny)
"Your batteriy is not a Genuine Microsoft Battery"...*Pzzzzzt!*...Blue Smoke Of Death
Now if only... (Score:5, Funny)
Now if only someone could invent something that would stop my wife putting non-rechargable batteries in my charger and blowing them up. She said it was an accident... I just think she likes the explosions.
Re:What to work on next. (Score:1, Funny)
Bob,
it's been almost 30 years. Get over it.
Adjust to a new generic outcry of discomfort or malcontent.
hint:Apple is the new Microsoft.
Re:Did Microsoft REALLY just patent the diode brid (Score:2, Funny)
You should just say "out-of-spec RadioShack batteries".
No need to be coy.
Re:Do You Think... (Score:3, Funny)
I can think of multiple situations where quickly swapping batteries without looking would be awesome.
Only if you are a woman...
Re:Dodge this (Score:5, Funny)
...but I just realized my old-ass flashlight counts as one.
( it's been replaced years ago by a proper wind-up for emergency cases and a decent Maglite-like one with a rechargable set for more frequent/high intensity beam use )
Thanks a lot [xkcd.com]
Re:Did Microsoft REALLY just patent the diode brid (Score:5, Funny)
>And Sun Tzu also Said
It's Oracle Tzu now and it's not a strategic product anymore, you insensitive clod!
Re:Now if only... (Score:5, Funny)
How is she getting through so many batteries??
Re:fp (Score:2, Funny)
What, did you just get the first-post add-on for Opera?
[back on topic]
This mechanical battery solution is interesting but the main problem is that it becomes VERY HARD to take your batteries out again without a ribbon or some physical eject mechanism. The big advantage of the current battery holders is that the spring on the negative terminal end gives you just enough "give" to pop the battery back out. Of course this morning I filed a provisional patent to fix this battery removal issue. And it's a purely digital solution.
Re:What to work on next. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What to work on next. (Score:3, Funny)
This is great and will save a lot of confusion, especially in devices that stack batteries between contacts. I think the directions will read something like this: With MS Instaload technology, you can now install batteries any way you like unless your device stacks batteries between contacts. In that situation, make sure that the batteries are all in the same orientation between a given set of contacts, but you have complete and total freedom to orient the battery stacks—not the inidividual batteries in these devices—in any way you like! Please refer to the several pages of diagrams we've included that show all the different orientations of stacked battery configurations that will work, followed by several more pages of permutations of battery installation configuration that you should avoid while installing your batteries in any way you want!
It used to be that you'd have to be constrained by that simple little diagram embossed in the plastic next to the battery compartment. Now, there's no need to have those instructions placed right on the device...this innovation allows several pages of off-device instructions to take its place. Excellent!
Re:An actual patent (Score:3, Funny)
The '+' and '-' symbols on batteries makes children ask about what they are.
This is where USPTO comes to the defence of civilization. Some electronics manufacturers will not be able to afford a license on this Microsoft Patent. So their battery would need to be placed in the correct orientation. So children would ask - "Why do batteries need to be placed this way in this device but works any which way in the other device?"
Such a question would not only enable you to teach electrical engineering to the said children, but you could also go on a long and cathartic rant about patents and how the country is going to the dogs.