The Cell Phone Has Changed — New Etiquette Needed 585
CWmike writes to share a recent manners-rant that has some great gems about how not to be "that guy" on a cell phone. What rules of engagement are absolutely necessary and what social penalties should become standard practice for repeat offenders? "It's easy to be rude with a cell phone. A visitor from another planet might conclude that rudeness is a cell phone's main purpose. Random, annoying ring tones go off unexpectedly. People talk too loudly on cell phones in public because of the challenge of holding a conversation in a noisy environment with someone who's not present. Cell phones need their own rules of etiquette, or we'll descend into social barbarism."
first rule (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:5, Interesting)
I find it easier to justify it if you put it that people can't seem to *walk* and talk at the same time. Walking is something that doesn't require much mental effort, yet people are continually running into things (and other people). Funny enough that people can seem to walk and talk to someone beside them just fine, but give them a cell, and accidents galore (thankfully rarely fatal or injurious unless one walks into a manhole or something). And this is something people do naturally, and now we want to put them in a two-ton vehicle where the outcome is easily death.
OTOH, I wonder if pickpocketing is on the rise these days - with so many distracted pedestrians, you'd think a downtown core would make a target rich environment for people stealing wallets and such.
Hell, I've always wanted to grab a digital camera, and when I see people so engrossed with their cellphone texting, snapping a picture and starting a website about it.
Re:Loudness (Score:2, Interesting)
A bucket of water would help (Score:3, Interesting)
I think every row of cubicles at my work should have a bucket of water for the storage of unattended ringing mobiles. Presumably the person at the other end assumes the owner of the phone can't hear the ring to they keep trying. First offence: I remove the back and the battery. Second offence: into the drink.
Okay how about this (Score:3, Interesting)
Baby dies in Torrens tragedy [news.com.au]
Responding to questions about the incident, police said Ms Lucas, 30, was jogging about 100m to the east of the Hackney Rd bridge about 8.45am when she stopped to take a mobile phone call.
She scribbled a number on her leg - she did not have writing paper - and turned her back to the pram.
When Ms Lucas finished the telephone call and looked up, her child and the pram had vanished.
Asked if she might have heard a splash or the sound of the pram falling into water, Chief Inspector Mick Fisher said he did "not want to speculate on that".
Witnesses said Ms Lucas, fearing Leonardo had been abducted, was "hysterical" as she ran along the path toward the bridge.
"Someone took my baby in a pram, a red Mountain Buggy," Ms Lucas told witnesses.
...and so on. Another moron with a mobile.
Sometimes, you just gotta get down in the gutter (Score:5, Interesting)
While taking the bus to work, I endured about 10 minutes of non-stop, high-volume chatter about matters far too intimate for public exhibition. I finally reached my limit...couldn't concentrate to read, had forgotten my headphones, couldn't ignore the conversation (which was carried on at a near-shout). The offender was clearly a Jerry Springer fugitive, and if she wasn't a star of that People of WalMart site, her attire was such that it's only a matter of time. The faces of the other transit riders made it obvious I wasn't the only one offended by a conversation that included the woman's current sex life, how she enjoyed suckering her sister into babysitting so she could go clubbing, and some lovely racial stereotyping about her child's absentee father.
I pulled out my cell phone and began to carry on a fake conversation about the woman. I'll admit that I was pretty far over the top, but I was also seriously pissed. The other riders caught on pretty fast and started laughing. For at least a couple of minutes the woman was oblivious. Gradually, though, it sunk in...I think it was when I mentioned how lucky she was that the bus came along before that Inuit with a harpoon caught up with her.
She wound up cursing at me, but that was fine. A lot of people were laughing at her, which was exactly what I had in mind. She got off the bus pretty quickly after that. I don't know if it was her stop; I hope not.
I wouldn't recommend this course of action except under ideal circumstances, but I don't regret it.
Texting taken more seriously now (Score:5, Interesting)
But its no longer the case, texting has become a more widespread method of communication and therefore more formal. Especially since about 2006/7 when everybody started moving to Facebook with private profile, switched off Bluetooth and basically refused to talk to randomers anymore due to their paranoia.
Now if I meet a girl there is a perfect interval I have to wait
1. Before sending the first text
2. Before replying to a text
3. Before sending a second text after no reply (much longer)
4. Random 'padding' time in addition to these. A constant delay = freaky/stalker-ish
There is also the number of texts I can send without reply before I have to assume she wants absolutely nothing to do with me anymore ever or risk being publicly denounced as a stalker/rapist type person. (usually only 2 or 3)
Before I could send someone a text and they would get it when they are available and have their phone switched on. Now if I wake up at 4am and think of something I have to tell them I have to use a PyS60 script to schedule the text to be sent at a sociable time. Otherwise the person will go around saying "omg, he sent me a text at 4am!!! the crazy stalker, he is awake and thinking about me at 4am! how obsessive! lets call cops now pls kthbai!"
Voice calls are not immune either - I cant call someone out of the blue for a chat, before I could but now they assume there is something wrong with me if I do that. In the early 00's I could call people and talk about an hour and they'd think nothing of it. Now its common to text before call
When you send a text there is also risk that someone wishing to stir up some drama can isolate that particular text from the rest of the conversation and try to pass you off as a bad person.
Re:It's Never OK... (Score:4, Interesting)
In 1948 Robert Heinlein wrote a story called Space Cadet [wikipedia.org]. Early in the story the protagonist is lining for something and his mobile phone rings. He answers the call. Its his dad asking about something but he ends the call saying can't talk now I am in a crowd. You know RAH was a pretty good futurist and got a lot of technical things right, but some things wrong too. Few people today would end a mobile phone call because there were other people around.
Music as a ring tone... (Score:5, Interesting)
Music as a ring tone...
Also, if you have any kind of music as your ringtone (except for the harp sound on the iPhone) you should be shot. A phone should sound like a phone, not a disco.
Actually, the first day we (all Apple employees at the time)m got our iPhones, we immediately hacked different ring tones onto them. Like less than an hour after we had them. With only the 25 original ring tones and a cafeteria that holds 1600 people, well you do the birthday paradox math.
-- Terry
Re:not sure which is worse (Score:1, Interesting)
If someone's too loud on their phone, I ask them to keep it down. For the most part, I get immediate compliance. No need for new 'social etiquettes' (draconian nanny law).
Google "etiquette", and figure out how and why you are wrong. It is obvious to everyone else...
Keep with Tradition (Score:3, Interesting)
If that isn't possible NEVER use a handheld or try to text while driving, either is as bad or worse than drunk driving; and the police should pull over those that do.
Just talking on a hands free phone is no problem, so long as you strictly prioritise what you are paying attention to, the 'car kit' I have in my light plane works well for this, If there is radio incoming, the phone is -4dB, if you push the radio talk button on the stick, the phone is muted, voice mic exclusively to radio (phone cannot overhear tower).
On answering a call I always tell the caller I am flying or driving and if I stop talking it means I am busy. If you have been taught to fly properly then, look round, look back, scan all relevant instruments, repeat, respond to radio FAA required, and phone AS LOWEST priority.
More modern aircraft have HUDs (Head Up Displays) and computer assisted fault monitoring, collision avoidence, radio altimeter
As Captain Chesley Sullenberger showed, a mis-spent youth as a glider pilot can be very helpful too.
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:5, Interesting)
This is probably especially true in terms of the Slashdot crowd. When you get a call from your boss/coworker/client/relative/friend who has some major computer catastrophe they will be relieved to have gotten through to you and usually blurt out their issue about as frantic as they possibly can. It usually isn't "Hello. I'm having a problem. Do you have a moment?" It is usually "THANK FUCKING GOD YOU ANSWERED MY PRINTER DOESN'T WORK AND IT WORKED THIS MORNING AND I NEED TO GET THESE REPORTS OUT AND I TRIED REBOOTING MY PROCESSOR AND DELETING MY PRINT DRIVER AND CHANGING THE INK IN THE PRINTER AND IT STILL ISN'T WORKING"
Naturally, trying to parse information being delivered that way is going to be pretty distracting. I usually don't get people I am walking with go into that kind of frantic mode.
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:4, Interesting)
Only because no one writes down as the cause of an accident things like:
'jamming out to the radio'
'not paying attention to the road because I was looking at the girl walking down the side of the road'
'talking to my passenger'
and a handful of other things that are really the same problem just different manifestations.
The problem being the driver shouldn't be driving because they can't prioritize the situation and they stop focusing on driving.
click-click-click-click (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:5, Interesting)
The other person in the car is, well, in the car. They will notice the same dangers you will, and will start to fear for their own safety if you are too distracted.
Yeah, I read an article about a study (can't find it) where they basically had two people talking about a set topic while one of them was driving. Sometimes the non-driver was riding shotgun, and sometimes the driver was talking to him via a bluetooth headset. Like many of these studies, they found that talking on the cellphone was more dangerous.
According to the article, the researchers observed that when the driver encountered some sort of obstacle or tricky situation, the guy riding shotgun would generally notice the obstacle and shut up on his own. The non-driver on the cell phone wouldn't see the obstacle and would continue talking.
The researchers hypothesized that, because the cell phone caller continued talking, the drivers attention was split and his reactions were delayed. Even if the driver stopped the caller from talking by saying something like "hold on a second...." as soon as he noticed the obstacle, it meant that there was a significant delay while the driver subconsciously prioritized how much attention to give to the caller vs. the road, made a decision on how to react to the caller, and then say "hold on a second."
Re:Phones. (Score:3, Interesting)
How anyone can carry a 'conversation' on a cell phone next to any other person is beyond me.
About the movie theatre thing, people should just turn them off. It seems rude to be doing other things when people are there to enjoy a movie. Of course, one fun thing one might do would be to challenge the movie theatre. Like, if someone is using the cell, even if just texting, during the movie, get up, seek a manager, and ask for a refund for the movie for permitting such a thing to go on. Make a big deal about it, and see how far it goes.
Re:first rule (Score:3, Interesting)
So complain about the issue that actually bothers you. You're annoyed by LOUD PEOPLE, not by people on cell phones.
No, I'm pretty much annoyed by people on cell phones whether they're talking or not. They tend not to be aware of what's going on around them, force others to step out of their way to avoid them as if they're some kind of royalty, and rather than admit when they've been acting badly will instead cop an imperious attitude (you know, the old "I'm on the PHONE how dare you interrupt me!" look.)
Hell, I was leaving the grocery store parking lot in my car, got thumped by this woman in her fifties who was just rambling on a mile-a-minute on her cell phone. So, I get out of my car, check my rear bumper for damage and then went over to the driver's side window of her car. She completely ignored me in favor of her phone conversation. I tapped on the window, and she rolled it down and said angrily, "What? WHAT? Can't you see I'm on the phone?!!" to which I said, "You just hit my car." She said, "No I didn't", rolled the window back up and went back to that brain-sapping device jammed up against the side of her head. Fortunately there wasn't any damage to my vehicle so I just shook my head and drove off.
A few days later, I was sitting in the parking lot out in front of our local drug store, when another car pulled up next to me. The cell-phone-abusing female behind the wheel was flapping her lips at an incredible rate, and in the process of getting out of her car slammed her door into the passenger side of my car. She DIDN''T EVEN NOTICE. I'd had enough of that kind of nonsense at that point, so I got out and said, "You just dinged my car!" Her response? "No I didn't." I said, "LOOK!", to which she replied "That was there already." There could have been a five foot hole in the side of my car and she wouldn't have noticed it. That time I called the cops and filled out a police report.
People on cell phones can be DICKs. Period.
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:3, Interesting)
And of course we all spend a certain amount of time in our daily drive going through the obstacle course while being forbidden to drop the phone. I'd like to see a study done using a "routine" drive (like your daily drive to work, or a trip from one city to the next) rather than a completely artificial one.
Personally, I always find talking to a passenger more distracting. I've never yet felt the urge to look my cellphone in the face while I'm talking to it, but I do that fairly regularly while talking to my wife sitting next to me in the car.
Re:Phones. (Score:5, Interesting)
Go talk on a conventional, passive landline phone, sometime. Foldback into the earpiece is an integral part of that technology, and it works: You can hear if you're distorted or scratchy, or muffled because you've positioned things wrongly, and if you can't hear yourself at all due to background noise you know you might want to speak up because they can't hear you, either.
It's all psychological. And people talking on the phone just want the other party to hear them clearly -- I cannot believe that they're all just purposeless loudspeaking assholes. But without any way for them to hear how they themselves sound, it's a crapshoot that's easiest won by just talking louder.
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:1, Interesting)
When I had a cellphone several years ago [circa 2000] (I got tired of always being reachable and disconnected after contract expired), I had no problem driving and talking on the phone. I was using a headset, but the most important thing is that I was willing to give up minutes to silence in order to concentrate more on the road. My father taught me to drive and drilled into me that, while moving, driving is your job and all else is secondary to that. So, for me, talking on a phone is no different than talking to a passenger: my conversation and any mental capacity required by it are secondary to driving and I do not spend any effort on trying to recall the thread of the conversation. If I forget what I was talking about, then it is up to the other party to re-start the conversation. This also requires being willing to interrupt the other party while they are speaking to tell them to wait while you get out of whatever situation you find yourself in.
Nonetheless, I would guess that fewer than 5% of people are able to drive well AND talk to someone else, whether on the phone or not. How many people do you see driving down the road, looking at their passenger? I never look at my passenger. Why do I need to do that? So, I agree that driving and using a cellphone in any capacity should be completely illegal. I didn't used to feel this way (when I had a cellphone) because I didn't see the big deal in talking and driving, but there were far fewer people using cellphones while driving back then, too. As more people began using phones while driving, I changed my mind because of how completely incompetent it makes them (moreso than they normally are).
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:4, Interesting)
A standard method for testing the effect of alcohol on reaction time is setting up a chalk 'gun' on the rear bumper of a car and having a driver drive it around a closed course at a fixed speed. The chalk gun fires one pellet at the ground at a randomly determined time; as soon as the driver hits the brake pedal the gun fires a second pellet. You measure the distance between the two chalk spots on the road to get reaction time. You do it several times before alcohol as a control and several times after having a few drinks. It's a great test for those people who claim they're better drivers after a couple of beers, because it inevitably shows a reduced reaction time.
I always wanted to see this reproduced with a cellphone involved instead of alcohol. Especially for my wife, who claims that she's still a good driver while on the cellphone.
Re:Loudness (Score:2, Interesting)
I find that a headset helps with this.The speakers in many phones are very lacking and the sidetone in most cell phones is minimal to non-existant, but if you have a headset coupled into your ear you can hear well. You have to realize though, that there is noise cancellation technology at work in the headset (if you buy a good one!), so even if you are in a noisy environment you can speak normally.
Hopefully the days are gone where someone feels they have to move the cell phone from their ear to their mouth when they talk - I watched a couple do this at dinner one night - ironically while I was at a conference on telephony audio quality!
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:3, Interesting)
if not, he would not have been able to get within yoinking in range without you being aware in the first place.
Excuse me? When you see someone walking the other way down a sidewalk do you dodge evasively to keep them out of reach at all times? It sounds like the event was immaculately routine until the stranger tried to swipe his phone. You do realize that it could be done very quickly and effectively by someone walking past him?
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:4, Interesting)
Whole generations where not be able to call each other when they were driving. As nice it is to be able to contact someone all the time, when I am in a car, I just don't pick up the phone at all.
Same when I am in the train, or on the bus, or in a restaurant.
But that is because I am in Japan, and people still know how to behave when they get a phone call.
Re:first rule (Score:3, Interesting)
I suspect it's because the people designing the phones don't really think about it and/or consider it a defect.
Conventional analogue phones have a lot of "feedback" (signal passing from the microphone to the earpeice) because the circuits in them that split incoming and outgoing signals are somewhere between non-existent and poor.
Digital phones (whether cell, ISDN or VOIP) don't have "feedback" unless the manufacturer explicitly adds it so many of them have none of it at all and if they do have it "artificially" the manufacturer is conservative on the ammount.
Yes indeed (Score:3, Interesting)
You've got the right idea. Here's what I do:
Also, as a courtesy:
And finally, for your own sanity:
Most importantly, be aware of this general rule: If the cellphone is interfering with your life, or with other people's lives, you're not using it very well, and you should modify your behavior (and likely, your cellphone's settings.)
Re:Rules 1 through 7 of using a Cell Phone (Score:4, Interesting)
My preferred solution is to have tiered licenses. Bronze would get you econoboxes, lowered speed limits, and higher insurance costs. Silver would get standard cars and normal traffic laws and insurance costs, while Gold would give access to sports cars, lower insurance costs, and perhaps give an extra 10% on the motorway speed limit (not the city speed limit, of course). Each would require progressively more training and more frequent re-testing intervals.
The question is then how you would check that the Porsche barreling down the outside lane is actually being driven by a Gold-standard driver and not a Bronze-licensed script kiddy who r007ed his daddy's car's firmware...
This already exists to a point in Italy, where newly-licensed drivers are restricted to smaller engine capacities and lowered speed limits for three years. ISTR that there are also stiffer penalties for speeding and perhaps other offences. The enforcement problem, however, is similar: short of stopping every car not legal for new drivers, it's hard to enforce.
Re:A bucket of water would help (Score:3, Interesting)
This had the added advantage of keeping yuppies from local businesses out of the only "real" pub in the village. Wine bars were glad of the business, and I was glad of the quiet.